Silent Film Fest Day 5 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1916)

Sorry about the delay in getting this last part of the silent film fest posted, folks. Its been a tumultuous couple of weeks here, but all that's now passed and we should be getting back to regular postings.

Way back in the day, when yours truly was but a young perfessor, one of my favorite movies was the 1954 Disney-produced version of Jules Verne's classic tale 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Sure, from today's historical and literary perspective it was horribly miscast, and much of the subtleties of Verne's original characterizations is missing, but for a young lad there was nothing that could spark the imagination like the undersea adventures of the Nautilus and her crew. James Mason cast an imposing regality as the imperious Captain Nemo, and when Kirk Douglas risked his life battling that giant octopus, well, to my young mind there was no match for his cleft-chinned heroics.

Imagine my delight, then, in discovering while researching the silent films to include in this mini-festival that there was a much earlier silent version of the tale that I could include here. Of course, almost as soon as I saw the opportunity, the questions also began to arise. Was there any way that such an early version could pull off the effects necessary to tell the story? At this point, filmmakers were only just exploring land based photography, how would they possibly pull off the underwater effects? And was there any way that it could bring the excitement and joy that the Disney version had to my young boy's heart? And would it, being an adaptation much closer in time to the source material also be closer in details?

Tuesday Terrors - Cat-Women of the Moon (1953)

Ok, let's be honest. The title of today's flick is Cat-Women of the Moon. It features "The Hollywood Cover Girls". Having read those two sentences, you already know whether you want to see this one or give it a pass, and there's really no need for me to tell you any more. Of course, has that ever stopped yer Ol' Professor before? No. Is it going to stop me this time? Nope.

From the so-bad-it's-actually-still-really-bad school, this B-reeler was actually created during the height of the 50's 3-D craze, and yes, it was originally released in 3-D. Why? Unfortunately, as seems to be increasingly the case today, the answer appears to be "because they could". Admittedly watching a 2-D print today may not have the same ambience, but there really seems to be no effort at all to exploit the possibilities of the process.

So what we have here is sort of a contrast of styles. The first part of the film is a fairly typical space-faring adventure (well, typical if you accept that future space-farers will be traveling in lawn recliners and office chairs), and the second part is their encounter with the titular Cat-Women who are the last of a race of people who apparently have been trapped on the moon for around 2-million years. Having developed a telepathic rapport with the lone female crew member of the space-ship, (who just happens to be the navigator for this flight which apparently has not even tried to figure out where the optimum landing spot is before they took off) the Cat-Women subtly direct her to direct the craft near to their cave-lair. Their plan is to overtake the men on the flight (exploiting their "weak points") and then hijack the ship so they can escape to the Earth.

The Cat-Women are certainly suitably slinky in their black tights, damsel-in-distress Helen is definitely distressed, the men are all brash and brave and curt, and the spider... what? I forgot to mention the spider? Oh, yeah, there's a giant spider. Well, actually there's something resembling a giant spider puppet that the men spend some time struggling with before... well, anyway, yeah, there's a giant spider.

Ok, let's take a look, shall we?


And now the Skinny:
Title: Cat-Women of the Moon
Release Date: 1953
Running Time: 64min
Black and White, 3-D
Starring: Victor Jory, Marie Windsor
Directed by: Arthur Hilton
Produced by: Jack Rabin, Al Zimbalist
Distributed by: Astor Pictures

Cat-Women of the Moon is available to watch or download for free here.
It's also available for purchase on DVD from Amazon: Cat-Women of the Moon.
Netflix also has this DVD available for rental: Cat-Women of the Moon.

Until next time, Happy Treasure Hunting,
-Professor Damian

Mixed genre friday - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) - starring (Names withheld to protect the Innocent)

Y'know, kiddies, there have been times this week when Yer Ol' Professor has been taking a look at these genre mashups and thought, hey... that's kind of a peanut better and chocolate combination. You wouldn't think they'd work that well together, but somehow, watching the actual movie, they manage to gel, and it winds up looking like a pretty good idea after all.

Then there's this movie. Let's just say I haven't been saving the best for last.

So the movie opens with martian children Bomar (or Boy Martian) and Girmar (Girl Martian) watching Earth television. Specifically, they are watching station KID-TV's interview with Santa Claus. Fearing that martian children, who are fed knowledge from birth and never allowed to play are going to grow up stifled and unable to think as individuals, the leadership of mars (led by Kimar or King Martian) decide that the best way to help the young ones is to kidnap Santa (along with a couple of Earth children) and bring him to Mars to make toys for the Martian children so they can learn how to play and have fun. Of course, there are those who oppose this move, and they attempt to sabotage the plan and then the factory that is built once Santa arrives. Fortunately, though, one of the bad guys decides that he likes the idea of Santa, and is named the new Martian Santa so that the real one can return to Earth in order to deliver his toys to our girls and boys. Oh, and let's not forget the "battle of the toys" where the Earth children and Martian children team up to overcome the bad guys by bubbling them into submission.

Yeah, it's a science-fiction Christmas movie. Yeah, someone (presumably Joseph E. Levine, since it's his name above the title) not only looked at this script and said "Yeah, we need to make this", but convinced Embassy Pictures to put thir money behind it. And a bunch of actors also read the script and thought "Yeah, that's something I need to be in!"

And then someone told your ever-humble host about it, and I thought "Hey, I think I'll watch that and let folks know about it."

Obviously, not all the bad decisions were made in 1964.

Ok, I'm not gonna spend a whole lot more time with this one - instead, I'm going to shoot you right to the trailer, which, as a special treat, also includes a second look at it with a commentary (yes, commentary for a commercial) by Mystery Science Theater 3000's Kevin Murphy talking about their decision to include it in one of their shows:


For those who really want it, here's the skinny:
Title: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Release Date: 1964
Running Time: 81 minutes too long
Color (especially green - they are martians, after all)
"Starring": John Call and an eight-year-old Pia Zadora
Director: Nicholas Webster
Producers: Paul L. Jacobson, Joseph E. Levine, and Arnold Leeds
Distibuted by: Embassy Pictures Corporation

In case you really want to torture yourself check this thing out for yourself, it's available to watch or download here.
If you, say want to share this with your friends (or even better, if you have people in your life that you're tired of being your friends, you can get it on DVD from Amazon: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Netflix has the MST3K version of the movie available to rent: Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but if you want the regular version, it's only available on "Watch Now": Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. (I suspect they're afraid of violating some postal regulation if they actually send it through the mail.)


Ok, if you've subjected yourself to this flick and have something to say about my take on it (either agreeing or disagreeing), be sure and hit the comments below. And also, let me know what you've thought about Mixed-genre week in general. Next week it's back to the usual cycle, but sometime in March I'm planning another specialty week, probably a look at silent films. 


Until next Time, Happy Treasure Hunting
-Professor Damian